From the Heart of the Center: Feeling Hopeless? Let’s Talk About It

The dictionary defines “hopeless” as “having no expectation of good or success,” but if you’re feeling hopeless, it can be hard to define and even harder to overcome. You should know that your feelings are valid. Life throws us many challenges, and it’s normal to feel down sometimes. We’ve been there, too, which is why we wrote this article.

Reasons Why You Might Feel Hopeless—and How to Cope

Abuse

There are many kinds of abuse, including physical, psychological, and emotional. If you or someone you know is being abused, you know just how debilitating it can be. Those experiencing abuse may have feelings of shame, guilt, powerlessness, and yes, hopelessness.

Ways to Cope

• Create a safety plan: A safety plan is a personalized guide to help you manage difficult situations and keep yourself safe. There are wonderful free tools online like the plan-maker from the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Before you use online tools like this, make sure you are accessing the internet from a device that is not being monitored by your abuser. This safety plan will help you determine people you can rely on for support (more on that below), safe places you can go in times of crisis, and a list of items you need to bring when leaving home.
• Safely reach out for help: Create a list (either on paper or in your head) of people you can text or call when you need support. Set up a “code” word or phrase you can say to those people so that they know you need help, even if an abuser is listening.

Addiction

More than 20 million people in the United States have a substance use disorder. But there are other kinds of addiction, like gambling. Being dependent on addictive substances and activities can make you feel out of control and hopeless.

Ways to Cope

• Find a healthy replacement for addiction: Find an activity to help manage cravings and triggers, like exercise, meditation, spirituality, art, music, or volunteering
• Communicate: Talk to friends and family, find a therapist, or join a support group

Anxiety

Whether you’re experiencing short-term anxiety over a certain situation or coping with regular anxious feelings as part of an anxiety disorder, you might have overwhelming feelings of impending panic, danger, or doom.

Ways to Cope

• Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs
• Eat lots of good things like veggies, fruit, whole grains, and fish
• Practice mindfulness
• Stay active
• Make sleep a priority
• Use stress management and relaxation techniques
• Journal about your feelings

Bonus: A Quick Mindfulness Exercise for When You’re Feeling Anxious

The next time feelings of anxiety or hopelessness are weighing you down, find a quiet space and follow this exercise. Look around and notice:

• 5 things you can see (like the sky or your hands)
• 4 things you can physically feel (like your feet on the ground)
• 3 things you can hear (like the wind)
• 2 things you can smell (like coffee or your perfume)
• 1 thing you can taste (like a mint or fresh air)

Breakups

Breaking up with a partner is hard. It is the end of your romantic future with them, and you might feel like you’ll be alone forever. But you won’t be. And there are tons of ways to overcome tough feelings after a breakup.

Ways to Cope

• Let yourself feel your feelings; don’t ignore them
• Reach out to friends and family
• Do something calming every day
• Try new things, like finding a new favorite restaurant or hobby

Bullying

Being bullied sucks—the person who wrote this article knows firsthand. It’s unfortunately very common, with one in five students reporting they’ve been bullied at some point. Bullying doesn’t just happen in person anymore, either. Lots of kids and teens experience bullying online.

Ways to Cope

• If bullying is happening at school: Tell a trusted adult, like a parent or caregiver, teacher, school counselor, coach, or principal
• If bullying is happening online: Block the person or people who are being bullies

You can also contact the website or social media platform where the bullying is happening. Most social media apps like Instagram and Snapchat allow you to report bullying.

Grief

Grief usually means something was lost, like someone or something you love. That sadness, fear, and anger can make it hard to see a positive future for yourself.

Ways to Cope

• In the short term:
  • Stay hydrated
  • Avoid using alcohol and recreational drugs
  • Sleep as much as you can
  • Remember to eat
  • Do light exercise
• In the long term
  • Be compassionate to others
  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Tell others how you feel
  • Acknowledge your new reality
  • Reflect on good memories
  • Try to stay open to new things

Illness and pain

Illness and pain are terrible things to deal with in the present, but they can also make you feel worried and hopeless about the future. You might wonder if this will be the new normal.

Ways to Cope

• Work with a trusted healthcare provider on pain management
• Practice breathing exercises
• Explore alternative therapies like massage
• Lightly exercise
• Talk to others about how you feel
• Let yourself rest when you need to

Loneliness

Humans are social beings, and feelings of loneliness and isolation can take a toll on your self-esteem and make you feel like the future will be more of the same.

Ways to Cope

• Try to feel comfortable in your own company
• Practice self-care
• Start small—say hi to someone you see in your day-to-day life
• Open up to people you know

Money

Whether you are dealing with unemployment or otherwise having trouble paying the bills, financial challenges can be a major source of stress and hopelessness.

Ways to Cope

• If you’ve lost a job: Create a checklist and take action, including filing for unemployment
• Get help: There are many government programs that can help with food, bills, housing, and more
• Understand and plan for big financial goals: Explore these helpful guides

Stress

Stress feels different for everyone, but often, it can feel like everything is out of your control. For instance, it can feel like you have too many things on your list and not enough time to get them done. You could also feel stressed from any of the situations we’ve already talked about in this article.

Ways to Cope

• Take breaks from news and social media
• Spend time outdoors
• Find relaxing activities that you enjoy
• Get enough sleep
• Go for walks
• Limit alcohol intake
• Avoid smoking, vaping, and the use of other tobacco products

Reach Out for Help—We’re Here for You

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: you are not alone.

If you need help overcoming thoughts of hopelessness or just need a little support, text HOPELINE™ to 741741. The first two texts you’ll receive in reply will be automated, but then you will be connected with a Crisis Counselor who will ask questions and, of course, listen.